I really love people. It was not always the case. I used to dislike people immensely. It comes from being shattered on more than one occasion. Wearing rose coloured glasses and having them smashed to smithereens through my expectation that people had the same values I do. People don’t and that is ok!
I am a bleeding heart, I hear a hard luck story and I want to help and on many occasions my Good Samaritan act ended in tears – generally mine and I looked like the bad guy. It happens to a lot of people. It is energetic baggage that attracts that type of situation. Thankfully, I have cleared the need to be disappointed in other people not meeting my expectation of how things should be and instead I actively work on accepting people and situations for how they are. It is so much lighter, not carrying an expectation around of being disappointed. There are still moments but having awareness allows a quicker more stable return to feeling good rather than being a victim of expectation.
It is the expectation of how people should behave that can cause pain and suffering almost as much as it is somebodies behaviour. People may not even realise that you have a certain expectation about how they should behave. At the end of the day you can only place an emphasis on how you behave. If someone is not meeting your expectations, that is not their problem but your own. It can be a difficult path to understand that you have no right to expect another to uphold what they may have promised.
At the end of the day it is your choice to be disillusioned by how others behave or you can make a choice to accept the disappointment and let it go. We cannot control other people, nor can we guilt them into doing what we perceive is the right thing. We can only accept how we feel and what we chose to do about it. I believe accepting how you are feeling is of primary importance but harbouring resentment because people may not live up to our expectations is a sure recipe for disaster and an energetic waste of time. All that emotional baggage gets stored in the body and leads to dis-ease which in turn can lead to disease.
Acceptance and understanding of your own feelings is of prime importance in the path of health and happiness. Be at peace with yourself. It is a work in progress, but one I am committed to following through.
The Blog where it all began: that juncture between pure conjecture and total animosity of spirit right now Walls up please Golden light around the whole house and so only love.
That moment where you take stock and decide on authenticity – you know the current catch-phrase that has been sprouted for centuries. Be true to you and walk in the light. Co-join in your own creation and live heaven on earth as it is with love and intention set purely upon the joy of living and experiencing life in the here and now – another catch phrase this time mindfulness in disguise.
I read ‘Anatomy of Spirit’ about 15 or so years ago and it made an imprint on my thought processes – of benefit, I believe so! Carl Jung’s Memoirs certainly impacted on my thought processes and I followed that interest up with a 2 unit course at University. I pursued my interest through reading the ‘Gita’ so that I could understand Jung’s position in regards to archetypes and religious symbology. I was hooked, so to speak with my interest in metaphysics already well-endowed through studies of the occult from my early teens and even pre-disposing that time-frame through my early childhood recollections of paranormal activity. You could say the conduit was open early.
So what does that have to do with the price of eggs in China! Absolutely nothing but it does have something to do with my state of mind right at this moment.
My bird has flown the cope so to speak, actually I mean that quite literally. The aviary my bird lived in during the day used to be the chicken coop until my rainbow came home with me on one visit to the produce to buy – you guessed it – chicken food. The chickens laying box was then shifted out of the aviary and the bird – my Sammy Rainbow took up residence.
It was my own fault – ownership where ownership lies, so to speak. And for the purists out there I’m not particularly concerned with grammatical correctness as opposed to good old fashioned heart felt communication! As I was saying it is my own ineptitude that led to my bird setting out into the big wide world. You see I was rather struck down with end of winter herbie jerbies and just starting to recover enough to get up out of bed. Let’s be fucking honest there are only so many days you can lie in bed with the flu not eating and barely sleeping before you start to make a recovery and that morning was the first time in 5 days that I got up and dressed to go to work. I was starting to feel better by that afternoon, but alas the damage was done! I did not properly latch the aviary door shut when I put my Rainbow away for the day. As was my custom late afternoon I went to see my ‘girl’ – she could have been a boy but I prefer to think of her as a girl!
Back to my point! My bird is out there somewhere dead or alive – I don’t know. Her bed is outside just in case. She slept in a pink pet carrycase with a lamb’s wool blanket that she crawled under each night. Before bed she was handled with so much love from the house hold. She tormented my cat until Alley Cat would look at me and I would pick Sammy Rainbow up so she did not harass the cat too much. She played with the dogs and did somersaults sometimes ending up in my plate. Plan of action in the search for Sammy Rainbow in amongst all of the other crap I have going on at the moment. Life is what life. Live it, Love it, Be it.
Most of us have been there at one time or another. On board the self-pity express; heading towards the station called ‘why me’. Oohs the woe! One minute you’re thinking about how good life is and the next you’re back in the past thinking about some sad arse hard luck story or even worse you’re in the ‘right now’ knee deep in shit (lol moment please).
You can be happily traveling along the path of least resistance and bam – something triggers the thought form and you jump on the merry-go-round of self-pity. Then what happens is the thought form takes shape and finds the corresponding emotional storage space in your body so that you start to remember how ‘sad’ feels. Pretty soon you’re feeling a gamut of emotions that have all been triggered and you don’t even know why you are feeling this way.
In most cases you don’t even notice you have hit a snag and jumped track – or have you? If we take a brief look at how the brain stores information. We know from scientific research (look up memory research for those wanting further information) that memory is laid down in different parts of the brain. So to put it another way, at any given moment in time the brain is laying down signal in multiple parts of the brain and body (muscle memory is a perfect example of body memory). For example a specific scenario that might be stored can include sounds, smells, visuals and other non-verbal and verbal cues that might make up a particular memory event. Understanding the simple truth that there are multiple levels of memory that can be stirred up in the course of a single conversation can be very self-empowering or conversely very limiting. Which is it to be! I think I will choose self-empowering.
How do you move from ‘self-pity’ to ‘self-empowered’? ‘Perception is everything’ is a somewhat true statement but not the complete picture. A basic self-understanding or willingness to self-analyze is of paramount importance without the prejudicial way most people use self-analysis as a tool of betterment (yeah I know it is long winded but you get that, tongue in cheek for those who don’t get my humour – another lol moment).
Back to my point, if and when you have noticed that you’re travelling the ‘woe is me’ line. Stop the damn train and change track. Even better start to pay attention and link those emotional lows with preceding thought forms. Start to look at it like a science experiment and collect some data for analyse at a point in time when you can safely use the knowledge to jumpstart your career into self-empowerment.
Friday 12 June 2015, this day feels like it has been indelibly drawn into my memory and will forever more be marked as the day I came of age in a spiritual sense. Why is today so special I pre-empt with my answer – I saw the Dalai Lama and heard him laugh and it made me feel the same way I feel when a baby laughs. It is a special feeling and one I wish I could bottle and sell for I would make millions. But, alas, I cannot bottle my feelings and the mere use of the English language does little to justify the feelings of love, excitement and compassion I have bubbling inside. There is also somewhat of a sick feeling at the realization that the Dalai Lama is really one of a kind and a hopeful endeavour to emanate him can only ever be but a mere reflection of the light that he shines in the world.
I find it an interesting conundrum that I have happily accepted my own views and perceptions even though it may seem conflicting to other people who may not experience the world in the same way that I do. Having studied the likes of Freud, Jung and Adler combined with the modern day twists of fate that have led me full circle to where I now find myself. Where do I find myself, with a lot more questions than I have answers for! It is a riddle, but it is meant to be! Life is a journey with dips in the path and sometimes the view from up high is inspiring and often times the view right up close is one of awe.
I find it interesting to sit back at the end of my first day working in a high school environment and marvel at my trek through educational environments.
In the late 1980s I had some involvement in playgroups (as a teenage mother), age group birth – pre-school. From the late 90s into the new century I volunteered in an eco-tourist environment and helped park rangers run activities for a range of age groups and in particular the 7 – 14 year age group (activities my first child could participate in during school holidays). Those were interesting activities from teaching kids to dip-net and look at the microcosmic world of water quality – through to damper making, wild life handling and a range of other activities – they were fun times ( and struggling times – single mother putting myself through Uni).
After that came the post grad teaching environment. It started in my Honours year – tutoring university practical classes (academic teaching in labs) and continued through two unsuccessful PhD projects several years apart (i.e. I worked in scientific research in between the two attempts-some things are all about learning the process and that is where the success lies).
Along come’s baby number 2 and this time I am a late 30 something mum. Learn to swim classes start when bub is 5 months old. Mums and bub’s organic gardening course and a music class for under school age and then early primary school involvement in classroom activities provides a solid background. Now I find my journey takes me into high school preparing material for teachers to use in practical classes. My passion for education and a deeper hidden pattern of learning across multiple modalities and differing age groups somehow coming together in a way yet to be realized.
Onwards I journey, open to new opportunities and growth in pleasant ways now dotting the path.
Till next time
It has been a path of hidden treasure that has brought me to this point. A new journey about to begin and finally a job I can call my own. I’ve travelled through scientific literature, explored the metaphysical world and now I get to find a balance with an income all my own. The joy of growing business as a part time enterprise takes off the pressure that was building in my eyes. Now instead of crying for the lack I can focus on the joy of abundance coming back. Tis with peace of mind this night that my business plans ignite and my passion for the help that my services provide really sends out ripples on the metaphysical tide.
Blessings on this night
I would like to tell you a story about alchemy and the flow of symbology that can add depth and meaning to life. For me it started very early in life, the need to know more and understand the hidden world masked in early occult teachings. So began my journey to uncover meaning and add depth to my own existence. I journey into motherhood at 16 and uncovered the greatest meaning of all to bring life into this world. From there my studies into the occult began in earnest, my early childhood memories of watching Doris Stokes on the Don Lane show stirring embers that needed more knowledge for the flames of my own soul. It is a passion really, the thirst for more and more knowledge.
So back to alchemy: guidance from Spirit to harness the dragon energy in my own “I am” moment lays down the context. The full moon provided a prompt to set the intention in a ritual to release stagnant flow and start moving forward with love and acceptance of my divine right to be in the universal flow of abundance and creation. Calling on the dragon energy to help clear the path of the least resistance so that every step forward gains momentum in an onward path of purpose driven freedom.
In that moment between being awake and meditating and being asleep and dreaming a pewter dragon pops out of an egg. The dragon is a baby smiling still within the egg, wearing the top piece like a hat as it sits in the egg. Understanding that this is a symbolic message, given the dragon energy has just recently been harnessed and that pewter has now been added to the mix.
Sometimes in life you come across deceitful people. They are underhanded and go out of their way to egg another person on so that they feel justified in their false sense of self. If you engage in the practice of deceit no matter what your reasoning is, you invoke karmic debt.
I find it quite disturbing when my integrity is called in to question by someone who is seeking a drama laden experience. I find it even more confronting when I am triggered and fall into an old pattern of self-defence.
People have an innate response that can be triggered known as the fight or flight response. When the response is triggered the rational mind does not even enter into it. When people feel threatened a biological reaction takes place invoking the fight or flight response.
It is that instant reaction, heat of the moment response that is hard to change. A mother with a child present can feel intimated when trying to exchange details after a carpark bingle. This is particularly relevant when the other party has made untrue allegations. Furthermore it is noteworthy to state that deceitful phone and text messages from a person that was not even present with follow-up slanderous text messages are the work of cowards.
I find it interesting that someone with a sanctimonious attitude can harass another person under false pretences and then send abusive messages while at the same time sending a God Bless. Does this type of person think that the hypocritical action of lying and harassment is ok? How many so called ‘God fearing’ imbeciles walk around thinking they are better than everyone else? Well I have got news for you! You have invoked karmic debt – your problem, not mine. My problem is trying to unravel the biological flight/fight response so that old patterns of self-defence are a thing of the past.
Namaste in love and light always look at what you have to learn from a given situation. What you have to learn, not what the other party has to learn. I am working on releasing my reaction to being threatened by a couple of cowards. Every story has two sides – depending on whose perspective you are looking at it from.
In a recent discussion on the impacts of how shadow can operate on the human psyche I used the analogy of being a little child in bed with the lights off and thinking there is a monster under the bed. The child is scared and the more noise coming from under the bed invokes more fear of a bigger monster. However, when you turn the light on and check under the bed you realize it is just a cat.
Fear can work on the conscious mind in a similar manner. You might be afraid of shadows only to realize that the scary looking thing was just the shadow of a windy tree and yet the fear is real and the effects on the body are equally real. If someone has chronic fear this may seem irrational and can then have a flow on affect in negative thought patterns. This can in turn lead to feelings of insecurity and a lack of confidence.
Taking time to understand when and how a fear developed in life is paramount to turning on the light and having a look under the bed. Identifying a specific event when the fear first manifested in life can be a major point in unravelling the impacts of fear on the body and releasing the effects of shadow e.g. fearing a big scary monster under the bed and realizing it is just the cat playing.